


Reality [oneshot]

by darklcy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29282322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darklcy/pseuds/darklcy
Summary: you've loved him since the beginning. you were always there for him and you figured maybe one day he'd feel the same way for you. but that wasn't realistic..he only looked at her. you were just a person who was there.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Reality [oneshot]

**Author's Note:**

> (i was kinda feeling eh which lead me to write this and now i feel even more eh)  
> okay so i have not read the manga so the conversation i wrote with him and annie was a bit of improv based off of season 4 ep 9 so plssss bear with me  
> enjoy >:)

It was painful.

You couldn't even use simple words to describe the emotions that tortured you with each passing day. 

How did it end up like this?

Weren't you supposed to enlist in the military for a normal reason like everyone else?

Your family had a history with family members living as soldiers in the Garrison, protecting the walls and patrolling the outer cities. It was a legacy, so to speak. And fortunately for you, you fell right under that trap and your parents pushed you to join at age twelve, entering the 104th regiment.

Yes, the same unit as _him_.

The same boy you wished would just _look_ at you. The same way he looked at _her._

It was childish, really. A hopeless crush was all it was. 

The two of you started off as innocent friends, occasionally eating together and practicing training sessions on each other. You eventually learned about his childhood, how his grandfather left him to die a lonesome death and the destruction of his hometown. His soulful eyes bore into yours as he retold those horror stories, his voice trembling and shoulders wavering. You comforted him while those memories flashed back in front of him, wrapping him up in a safe embrace and murmured words of affirmation.

When you found out about his desire to join the Survey Corps, your heart caught itself in a dilemma. Do you follow him or do you continue the wishes of your family?

Ultimately, you decided, maybe for once you could do something _you_ wanted to do. So you followed him.

You didn't want to lose what you two had; he was too precious and important to you.

Because surely he felt the same way about you, right?

Then why...why was he always visiting her?

Why did he always disappear for hours at a time each day to go see her?

Annie Leonhart...the female titan who enclosed herself in a crystal capsule, protecting her from the interrogations the world had prepared just for her.

The girl who graduated 4th in the top ten and joined the Military Police to move into Wall Sina. If you remembered correctly, her reason for enrolling into the brigade...

_"...I want to live a nice, quiet life within the safety of the walls. I don't believe any other reason is necessary..."_

When you first heard this, you thought of her as a coward. While everyone else was journeying beyond the walls to fight titans for the safety of the citizens while she was cowering on the inside...You had to laugh.

It almost made no sense to you until her true identity was revealed to the world. _The female titan_...she killed many of your comrades, including Captain Levi's squad and a handful of the veteran soldiers.

She was a murderer. A cold-blooded murderer. 

But even still...he kept his eyes on her. Despite all that's happened, he's never strayed away from her.

After all the events following the Trost invasion, the secrets of Reiner and Bertholdt, the operation to re-take Wall Maria, the murder of more than half of the Survey Corps...

Him inheriting the power of the Colossal Titan...

In the end, he never chose you. He never gave you a chance.

But perhaps that was your fault. Ironically, you were the one who was a coward. 

To him, you were just a close friend. The one he could lean on and spill his secrets to. The one who was always there to comfort him and give him advice. But never the one who won his heart.

You were too scared to reveal your feelings for him in fear of ruining your friendship, and the bond you two shared was more important than some pesky crush. 

You could settle with living like this right? You can save your friendship by never telling him the truth, right?

Life was unfair, you concluded. It was as if the universe was just dangling him right in front of your face.

\--

One night you grabbed a tray of food to eat for dinner like usual, sitting down at a vacant table across from Mikasa and Eren, yet he was nowhere to be found.

"Hey, have you seen Armin?"

The only response you got were some shaky heads. Asking for Mikasa to save your spot, you rose from the table and exited the room. Trotting down the halls, you searched for the blonde in hopes he would turn up, mumbling an excuse that he was busy reading or something. You wished that was what was holding him up, but...

As you turned a corner, you spotted him walking over to a particular room, grabbing hold of the door handle and slowly entering. Your stomach twisted when you noticed just where he was headed. It was the room Annie was currently resting in.

You couldn't hold yourself back. Stepping forward, you too latched onto the door and swung it open, following him into the room. Tiptoeing lightly down the steps, you quieted your breath by holding your sleeve to your nose. You didn't want him to know you were in there with him. Your body froze when he started to speak.

"Hey, Annie...

Today, Niccolo cooked some lobsters for us. We've never tasted it before. it was unlike anything I've ever eaten. Sasha practically ate all of it until Connie and Jean stopped her. Or tried to, anyway. But apparently lobster is a creature that lives in the ocean. Isn't that crazy? To think that there are other organisms living in those waters just underneath us...Who knows what type of stuff is down there!"

The arm against your face shook softly, your nose beginning to heat up. 

It wasn't fair. None of it was fair.

"We also received more information about the weaponry used in Marley. Yelena and Onyakobon explained a lot of their weapons and aircrafts to Commander Hange and Captain Levi, although, we couldn't help but listen in. I wonder...what it must've been like for you three to grow up there. It sounds so different compared to how we lived..."

You couldn't hear this anymore. It hurt too much.

Turning on a heel, you stepped up the stairs and blocked out the rest of the conversation to the best of your ability. 

The others questioned you on where you've been once you returned to the mess hall, not missing the fact that he wasn't with you. You just shrugged your shoulders and ate your dinner quietly.

\--

His little habit of visiting Annie was something he never spoke of to you. Or anyone, for that matter. 

It was his little secret, or so he thought.

Nowadays, he doesn't talk to you as much as he used to. Although, the whole aura of your 104th comrades differed greatly compared to the trainee days. If only you could go back...

Maybe you would've said something. Maybe you could've opened up to him and let him hear your feelings. Maybe he would've returned them, and then you wouldn't be having this problem now.

But no. That was just a distant fantasy, one too far for you to reach.

This was reality.

"I'm sorry [First], but I don't love you..."

Harsh, unfair, reality. 


End file.
